Being married is pretty rad. Its been four months since our wedding and I can’t believe how quickly the summer flew by. But, fall is in full swing and I am VERY happy about it. For some reason, I was craving yellow leaves and hoodies all summer.
So anyway, being married is pretty great. Not much has changed in our day to day lives though. We already bought the house and had been living together for a number of years before hand. The only difference between then and now is Andrew’s work schedule, which has been an adjustment. Last year (well, last fiscal year), Andrew was a detective and was considered “administration”, so he had weekends off and normal-ish hours. We could do things at night, plan our weekends, and actually do things together. Now, he is back on patrol and working nights on a 4 days on/2 days off schedule. We are fortunate to be able to see each other most every day. He doesn’t go into work until 11 at night and is awake by the time I get home at 5. That’s not to say that his hours are difficult to work around. Every 7 weeks he has a real weekend off, which makes it hard to spend quality time together that isn’t on the couch and see our friends/family. I try to represent us at our family’s and friend’s functions when I can. I think I’m starting to spread myself a little thin, though. I would so much rather go together then alone to anything. When he has his “weekend” during the work week, we try to do something special. Go out to eat, see friends, go to the movies, etc. I try my best to stay up late if need be so we can enjoy ourselves and whatever we might be doing, but it makes for Zombie Emily the next day at work. I need my 10 hours!
Sometimes, he gets the opportunity to work over time, so he goes in for a 12 hour shift; 8pm-8am. Every once in awhile its nice to have the TV to myself so I can watch my stories, but I’d much rather have him home to argue over the remote. During my weekends (the REAL weekend!), I try my best to keep quiet between the hours of 8:30 and 3:00 so he can sleep soundly. It proves a little difficult when I’m dropping pots and pans in the kitchen or when the microwave timer goes off before I can catch it. Did it always make that piercing beeping sound?!
I knew what I signed up for. Its about as hard as I thought it would be, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Police hours are tough on everyone, including the police themselves. I don’t think Andrew gets as much sleep as he needs, but I know from pulling those all-nighters in college that trying to get some REM sleep at 1pm isn’t the easiest. Also, what do you eat at 1am? Is it breakfast, lunch, or dinner? I don’t think I’d feel like eating cereal, but I also don’t think I’d like a chicken parm sub either. He has his schedule down and doesn’t seem to be suffering too badly from it. But, I worry. He never complains and he knows he needs to pay his dues in the department just like everyone else did. I know its fair. It just doesn’t seem it since it is such a huge inconvenience to our personal life.
But like I said, I knew what I had signed up for & we are very fortunate to be able to spend time together on most days, even if it is a little unconventional. Millions of families do this year in and year out- so why should we be any different? We aren’t!
I’m not trying to complain, truly. I hate his schedule, but I don’t hate his job. I am so appreciative of what he is doing. If it came down to it, yeah, I could probably adjust my entire being to a 12am-8am schedule if I had to. But from where I am standing, it seems impossible. I don’t know if I would have it in me to sleep only 5-6 hours a day, look at the clock at 4am and know that I have 4 more hours of work left, and go to bed just as I everyone is starting their day. It sounds hard. But, Andrew is doing it. And he is doing it for the both of us. He is work 12 hours shifts to help pay for that new dishwasher. He is working an extra detail after he gets off his shift to put towards our honeymoon. He is sleeping 5 hours so he can get up when the landscapers come to put all of the brush we raked through the wood chipper. Andrew deserves so much more then he earns, and I’m not saying that because I am biased. I’m saying it because its true.
I’m so lucky.