What I’ve Learned

1. Planning a wedding isn’t all glitter and rainbows. It is HARD. Sometimes, it really sucks. I am waiting for things to start to pick up because right now, its still very very slllloooow. Come March I know I am going to be pulling out my hair because I’ll be like “WHY DIDN’T I DO THIS 6 MONTHS AGO!?!?” The reason? You CAN’T do half of the things until a few months before the wedding. But on the other hand, its still really fun to think about what color table cloths you want and research flowers and colors. Oh? That’s just me? Crap.

2. Vendor reviews are a God send. As well as friends who have just recently gotten married. I love theknot.com regional forums. Unless you are in the “wedding business”, you probably don’t know who the best DJ is in your area or what limo company ACTUALLY shows up on time. Talking to people (in person or on the interwebs) helps A LOT.

3. Wedding dress shopping isn’t that bad. Truly. I know, I may be the only female on the planet that dreaded wedding dress shopping- but its not awful! Its also EXACTLY like SYTTD and NOT AT ALL like SYTTD. I didn’t get to have a gay man with fabulous ties jack me up and cry with me when I found “the one”. I did however get to have an entourage and stand half naked in front of said entourage with a too small dress strapped to me. So that was great.

4. Sometimes…the groom actually DOESN’T care. And that’s okay! You can’t expect him to really care about what color ribbon you are going to have tied around your bouquet. He isn’t going to drop everything and run to the kitchen table where you’ve found THE BEST napkin holders in the PERFECT color. Chill out, bridezilla. As long as he cares about the stuff that REALLY matters (what he wears, where you are getting married, who does what, etc), you’re in good shape.

5. Pinterest gets old. After 74 consecutive days scouring everything the website has to offer, you start to see the same stuff over and over and over again. Give it a rest for a few days! Besides, seeing all of those images of different weddings can be overwhelming and even confusing. I’ll admit that I definitely considered changing my color scheme a few times. Don’t get TOO obsessed.

6. Don’t be the bride that cares too much, but doesn’t care enough. I feel like I’ve been verging onto the latter from time to time. It’s not that I don’t “care”, its more that I want everyone that’s involved to be comfortable with what they are wearing or what they are doing. I honestly don’t care what color nail polish you are going to wear with your dress. I WOULD care, however, if one of my bridesmaids came to me and asked “Hey, do you mind if I wear this tiara in my hair? I bought it at Claire’s and I think its adorable!!!” I’m not one to purposely hurt someone’s feelings but….”???????”. I asked these people to be involved in my wedding because I trust them and their judgment…if you don’t feel the same way about your wedding party, maybe you should re-think!

7. Weddings don’t have to be expensive. I mean, yeah, they cost money. It’s not going to be cheap by any means (unless you are really good at cutting corners), but you don’t have to remortgage your house or take out a loan for this. Multiple people have told me that as soon as you mention that something is for your wedding, the price gets jacked up. I have found that to be completely untrue. Just play nice! If you are nice to whoever you are negotiating with, they will compensate for that. I bought a necklace that I am thinking about wearing with my dress at a little shop in New Hampshire. I mentioned that I wanted to wear it for my wedding, and she knocked a few bucks off for me. It wasn’t costing me a fortune to begin with, but a discount is a discount! Our reception venue also threw a few things in for free or less then asking price. Being nice pays off, I tell ya!

8. Don’t let anyone talk you into something you don’t want. Obviously this piece of advice comes with some exceptions. If you or your husband’s-to-be family wants you to do something for traditions sake, you may want to take that into consideration. If your aunt wants you to release a flock of doves in the church when you are pronounced husband and wife, I’d stamp that one with a big N-O. Plus, the church most likely will frown upon that. This is YOUR wedding. YOUR day. If you don’t want a baklava station, then don’t have a baklava station. Simple as that. Unless you like baklava. Then by all means.

9. Something will go wrong…I know, no one wants to hear it. Who doesn’t want their wedding to be the most perfect day of all the days? Mine was perfect, even though there were a few mishaps. I got to the church late (who knew there would be major traffic on the first day of summer on a Friday on the cape…?), we got the wrong cake, we forgot to take a few pictures that we wanted…the list goes on! If something is going to go wrong, its going to go wrong. In the moment, there are 2 ways to handle it: you can take it stride and just laugh it off (unless it something major, like your dress skirt just ripped off), or you can flip out and cry and ruin your makeup. Be a grown-up, get over it, move on. Its still your wedding day! Own it!

10. This is going to sound SO trivial and stupid but….DON’T FORGET TO COORDINATE WHAT SOCKS THE GROOMSMEN ARE GOING TO WEAR. I didn’t even THINK about their socks. In our pictures, you can see that each groomsman is wearing different socks. One has pink socks with mustaches (I know…he’s so lucky we love him), blue with white stripes, black, white, etc. Its not a huge deal & and I do laugh every time I see those damn pink socks poking out, but its actually the number 1 thing I regret not thinking about beforehand. Guys really do need help, even if they insist their don’t!


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